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Lost Password
1 min read
Hey folks your friendly neighboorhood Shamed Wolf here! Listen up this stuff's important. I've lost my password for my account so if all of a sudden you see a red bullet by my account and it never turns green that's why just to let you know before you get all paniky on me here. P.S. I'll have to find my account with a new one since I'm signing out for the final time so yeah I'll be almost friendless.
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Types of furries everybody hates
11 min read
FURRIES WE HATE: THEIR PUNISHMENTS
Greetings, all you wonderful furries o' mine! You may know me as the author of the popular-for-some-reason "Furries We Hate" lists. I remain humbled and pleased that so many have enjoyed them and *coughcoughImaywritemorecough* Hmm? Did someone say something? I was coughing and didn't hear.
Anywho, I got to thinking…I've listed all these annoying types of furry that people dislike and, in many cases, want to see punished. But how to punish them? What consequences are appropriate to their crimes? I have some ideas! Want to hear?
10 TYPES OF FURRY WE HATE
The Poputurd
CRIME: Lives the life of an arrogant furry celebrity just because they have a bunch of money and will fuck anyone who displays the proper levels of sycophancy.
PUNISHMENT: Contracts an incurable STD that is extremely expensive to treat. The one untreatable symptom is that they smell like a rotting corpse when they become aroused. Anyone dumb enough to have sex with them will get the disease too. So they still get to be popular…with necrophiliacs.
The Barnacle
CRIME: Attaches himself to anyone who shows friendliness, acting like a needy, subby, slutty attention whore.
PUNISHMENT: Is reported to the Furfag Police (yes, in a perfect world, these will exist) who boot him from the community until he can prove that he has lost weight and found a meaningful way to contribute to society. If he fails, they enter his home and remove all furry fapping paraphernalia. If he still can't get a life, he is quietly smothered to death with uncooked pizza dough.
The Kinkbot
CRIME: Obsesses over a single fetish and tries to force it upon everyone and everything.
PUNISHMENT: Dreams about their chosen fetish every single night until they are so fucking sick of it that exposure to it makes their genitalia turn inside-out.
The Boiled Bunny
CRIME: Acts resentful, vicious, and passive-aggressive toward mated furs of whom they are rabidly jealous.
PUNISHMENT: Undergoes surgery to remove their gender and sex drive; then gets to live as a eunuch in the stronghold of a crazed military junta, where they will fall in love with a fellow nullified slave and live in platonic bliss.
The Commission Demon
CRIME: A compilation of all shitty commissioner habits, from refusing to divulge details until after the artist has already drawn something, to "forgetting" that they have no money right now.
PUNISHMENT: The Furfag Police add a permanent footer which appears on every post, comment, note, and e-mail the CD makes. It says, "ARTISTS: THIS TWAT WILL MAKE YOU WANT TO PEEL YOUR FLESH OFF. TAKE THE COMMISSION AT YOUR OWN FUCKING PERIL."
The Child Called "It"
CRIME: Lives in the grip of their tyrannical parents, despite being a legal adult, and expects you to accommodate their special needs.
PUNISHMENT: Mom and Dad send their sexually deviant child to military boot camp, where every single person they meet asks, "Wait, you let them? Why the hell didn't you just move out?"
The HAFSY
CRIME: Acts really friendly and affectionate to someone online, then abruptly cuts off all contact with their victim forever.
PUNISHMENT: Permanently placed in a Matrix-style computer simulation where they are the last living person on Earth and must construct artificial friends out of dead rats, garbage, and gluey poops. Only these makeshift buddies keep vanishing, leaving notes that say, "Sorry, but I gave you a chance and you're really kind of shit. Don't try to call me."
The Bitch On a Pedestal
CRIME: Charges ridiculous prices for shitty, generic pics; acts like a stuck-up cunt just because she has a college degree in art; sneers at porn.
PUNISHMENT: Runs out of money and has to work hauling vats of beef grease for Arby's. Also, the government passes a law that anyone who expects to build a career off a studio art degree must be pelted with aging cucumbers everywhere they go.
The Fucking Idiot
CRIME: Is a fucking idiot.
PUNISHMENT: Continues to be a fucking idiot, only no one ever feels the need to humor them.
The Utterly Evil Bastard
CRIME: Uses, manipulates, lies to, steals from, and generally treats his fellow furries like disposable resources, because he's a legitimate sociopath.
PUNISHMENT: Simply this: that his repulsive nature is plain and obvious. He oozes it like a pheromone and every single person he meets, whether online or IRL, senses it at once: This fucker is scum and I will have nothing to do with them. Everywhere he goes. For the rest of his deservedly sad, lonely life. Can you tell I have issues?
TEN MORE TYPES OF FURRY THAT WE HATE
The Concruddian
CRIME: Acts like a creepy, juvenile, inappropriate pervert at cons, then accuses anyone who complains of fursecution.
PUNISHMENT: We need some kind of Concruddian-detector, so they can be intercepted at the door and tossed into a locked room with others of their ilk. All they get to eat is tuna casserole piped through a hose. There's a single, ratty old camel fursuit for anyone who wants it. No toilet and no place to dispose of used adult diapers. And the whole thing is covered by major news networks so the public can see that even furries draw the line somewhere.
The Glitterbomb
CRIME: Is perky and colorful and supergay to the point of madness.
PUNISHMENT: While attending an anime con, gets hit with a literal glitterbomb, leaving them blind and mute. Plus, the glitter is permanently embedded in their flesh, causing Twilight fangirls to follow them around, caressing them with pudgy, purple-nailed fingers.
The Gollum
CRIME: Spends each and every moment of their wretched life trying to get free art.
PUNISHMENT: Wins an art raffle and is asked for their address and personal info. If they're retarded enough to give it, their identity is promptly stolen by a 300-pound Sri Lankan who runs a baby-smuggling operation from their apartment while they take the blame.
The Furnatic
CRIME: Actually believes they are an anthropomorphic animal trapped in a human's body.
PUNISHMENT: Mobsters mistake him for a goon nicknamed "Real Dragon," kidnap him, torture him, and then toss him off a cliff while guffawing, "Where's your WINGS, boy? Why ain't you FLYING?" He lives, but the mobsters return every Friday to use him as a urinal.
The DASY
CRIME: Attracts a devoted following by posting really awesome art, then abruptly deletes everything and vanishes due to his "changing vision" or some bullshit.
PUNISHMENT: Locked in a house with a whole bunch of his most annoying fans, who refuse to let him eat unless he draws custom porn for them all day.
The Guilty As Fuck-er
CRIME: Constantly acts emo and self-loathing, ashamed that other people like him, refusing to admit he has worth.
PUNISHMENT: The Furfag Police run a special camp for these people, during which time they learn applicable skills and are beaten with frozen pork chops every time they claim they're worthless. At the end, they emerge as happy, normal people -- except for the truly hopeless cases, who are ground up and made into hedgehog chow.
The Fuwwy Twoo Wuv
CRIME: Moons and gushes endlessly over their wonderful, perfect mate, aka, some dude they've never met in person.
PUNISHMENT: When they finally meet their mate IRL, he/she turns out to be incredibly sexy, talented, charming, and wealthy. Then the mate takes one look at the FTW, says, "Well, never mind," and walks out of their life.
The Navi
CRIME: Clutters up your IM with boring babble about shit only they care about, and gets offended if you don't give them your full attention.
PUNISHMENT: In a grotesque surgical mishap, the Navi's hands are replaced with an aluminum bucket and a barracuda skeleton. If they can still babble on IM after that, they fucking deserve an audience.
The Sex Sandwich On Rye
CRIME: Tries to force everyone to be friends -- even if they hate each other -- because he only cares about his self-centered sex fantasies.
PUNISHMENT: People keep doing really awful things to him by accident -- like, running over his dog or sending a pornographic text conversation to his boss -- and then trying to seduce and have sex with him literally moments afterward.
The Gaymaleredfox
CRIME: Is boring and generic with no visible personality or imagination.
PUNISHMENT: The Furfag Police set a legal limit on the number of red foxes in the fandom, based on seniority. All other red foxes must choose a new fursona from a list of the five hundred least common species in the fandom, then give their character a fascinating appearance and backstory. Otherwise, they get sent to a prison in the Australian outback where the inmates have to wear a full fursuit 24/7.
TEN FINAL (lol) TYPES OF FURRY WE HATE
The Autotargeting Anti-Admin Incendiary (AAAI)
CRIME: Hates the FA admins with an irrational passion and constantly drags out the same tired and unfixable complaints.
PUNISHMENT: Has to be an FA admin, duh. But with a bonus twist: all of the AAAI's decisions as admin are really fucking good and improve the site, but he gets no credit at all. Instead, everyone believes he fucks baby lambs in his spare time.
The Tolkien
CRIME: Has a long, stupid, unoriginal backstory for their stupid fursona that they insist on inflicting upon every sap they come across. Usually involving magic and cyborgs and gunblades and shit.
PUNISHMENT: Gets sent to an actual fantasy realm, only it has all the things a fantasy realm would have, such as rampant disease and murderous bigotry. And the Tolkien doesn't get to inhabit the place as their own fursona; instead, they are in the body of a naked mole rat whose ass emits a pheromone irresistible to the Spine-Cocked Thunder Centipedes of Mount Pustule.
The Fetish Snob
CRIME: Acts all arrogant about being "associated" with a particular fetish.
PUNISHMENT: Every time they try to apply for a real job, a sexually explicit description of the fetish and their association with it appears on their resumé. By fucking magic.
The Tortured Genius
CRIME: Is an incredibly good artist, yet constantly whines about how much their art sucks.
PUNISHMENT: Put to work in the Disney gulag coloring frames for "Tinkerbell XXXVII: She Goes To Cleveland Or Something" while being flogged by all the fattest, ugliest Disney villains, all of whom are naked.
The Apostle
CRIME: Worships a particular artist and kisses their ass so hard he leaves permanent lip prints.
PUNISHMENT: Fitted with special contact lenses which ensure that whenever he views a piece of art by his beloved hero, it appears as a painting of a brick. And not even a sexy brick.
The Disapproving Little Shit
CRIME: Your typical smug troll who loves to stir up endless drama by being vile and hateful on forums and such.
PUNISHMENT: Special drones (outfitted with cute wolf ears) are dispatched to hunt down the trolls and shoot them with live wasps until they deliver a heartfelt apology. And then one in every ten is executed anyway, because the Romans knew their shit.
The Furitan
CRIME: Complains about any furry porn that does not meet the exact, rigid guidelines for what they personally find sexy.
PUNISHMENT: Dog dick. In the ear.
The FAcebooker
CRIME: Treats FA like Facebook, posting boring photos and Tweet-like journals.
PUNISHMENT: For every pointless thing they post, they must perform oral sex on another member of FA, who is chosen via random lottery. Only the lottery is rigged to favor fat chicks who don't wash their labia.
The Spineless Cumbucket
CRIME: Is trapped in an abusive relationship with a creep, but won't admit it because they're a total coward and too needy to function.
PUNISHMENT: Jesus, just BEING them is punishment enough.
The Lifer
CRIME: A salty dog who has blown their entire life being furry, and only being furry. Also, continues to insist that FurNation is still relevant.
PUNISHMENT: Using their mystic time powers, the Furfag Police send the Lifer back in time and have them relive the past twenty to thirty years -- this time, as a successful and respected public servant who just happens to be furry on the side. The Lifer is then asked which version of their life they prefer. If they choose the furry-only version, they are put in a cage and displayed at every furry con, as both a novelty and a cautionary example.
This list was made by www.furaffinity.net/user/felix…
Greetings, all you wonderful furries o' mine! You may know me as the author of the popular-for-some-reason "Furries We Hate" lists. I remain humbled and pleased that so many have enjoyed them and *coughcoughImaywritemorecough* Hmm? Did someone say something? I was coughing and didn't hear.
Anywho, I got to thinking…I've listed all these annoying types of furry that people dislike and, in many cases, want to see punished. But how to punish them? What consequences are appropriate to their crimes? I have some ideas! Want to hear?
10 TYPES OF FURRY WE HATE
The Poputurd
CRIME: Lives the life of an arrogant furry celebrity just because they have a bunch of money and will fuck anyone who displays the proper levels of sycophancy.
PUNISHMENT: Contracts an incurable STD that is extremely expensive to treat. The one untreatable symptom is that they smell like a rotting corpse when they become aroused. Anyone dumb enough to have sex with them will get the disease too. So they still get to be popular…with necrophiliacs.
The Barnacle
CRIME: Attaches himself to anyone who shows friendliness, acting like a needy, subby, slutty attention whore.
PUNISHMENT: Is reported to the Furfag Police (yes, in a perfect world, these will exist) who boot him from the community until he can prove that he has lost weight and found a meaningful way to contribute to society. If he fails, they enter his home and remove all furry fapping paraphernalia. If he still can't get a life, he is quietly smothered to death with uncooked pizza dough.
The Kinkbot
CRIME: Obsesses over a single fetish and tries to force it upon everyone and everything.
PUNISHMENT: Dreams about their chosen fetish every single night until they are so fucking sick of it that exposure to it makes their genitalia turn inside-out.
The Boiled Bunny
CRIME: Acts resentful, vicious, and passive-aggressive toward mated furs of whom they are rabidly jealous.
PUNISHMENT: Undergoes surgery to remove their gender and sex drive; then gets to live as a eunuch in the stronghold of a crazed military junta, where they will fall in love with a fellow nullified slave and live in platonic bliss.
The Commission Demon
CRIME: A compilation of all shitty commissioner habits, from refusing to divulge details until after the artist has already drawn something, to "forgetting" that they have no money right now.
PUNISHMENT: The Furfag Police add a permanent footer which appears on every post, comment, note, and e-mail the CD makes. It says, "ARTISTS: THIS TWAT WILL MAKE YOU WANT TO PEEL YOUR FLESH OFF. TAKE THE COMMISSION AT YOUR OWN FUCKING PERIL."
The Child Called "It"
CRIME: Lives in the grip of their tyrannical parents, despite being a legal adult, and expects you to accommodate their special needs.
PUNISHMENT: Mom and Dad send their sexually deviant child to military boot camp, where every single person they meet asks, "Wait, you let them? Why the hell didn't you just move out?"
The HAFSY
CRIME: Acts really friendly and affectionate to someone online, then abruptly cuts off all contact with their victim forever.
PUNISHMENT: Permanently placed in a Matrix-style computer simulation where they are the last living person on Earth and must construct artificial friends out of dead rats, garbage, and gluey poops. Only these makeshift buddies keep vanishing, leaving notes that say, "Sorry, but I gave you a chance and you're really kind of shit. Don't try to call me."
The Bitch On a Pedestal
CRIME: Charges ridiculous prices for shitty, generic pics; acts like a stuck-up cunt just because she has a college degree in art; sneers at porn.
PUNISHMENT: Runs out of money and has to work hauling vats of beef grease for Arby's. Also, the government passes a law that anyone who expects to build a career off a studio art degree must be pelted with aging cucumbers everywhere they go.
The Fucking Idiot
CRIME: Is a fucking idiot.
PUNISHMENT: Continues to be a fucking idiot, only no one ever feels the need to humor them.
The Utterly Evil Bastard
CRIME: Uses, manipulates, lies to, steals from, and generally treats his fellow furries like disposable resources, because he's a legitimate sociopath.
PUNISHMENT: Simply this: that his repulsive nature is plain and obvious. He oozes it like a pheromone and every single person he meets, whether online or IRL, senses it at once: This fucker is scum and I will have nothing to do with them. Everywhere he goes. For the rest of his deservedly sad, lonely life. Can you tell I have issues?
TEN MORE TYPES OF FURRY THAT WE HATE
The Concruddian
CRIME: Acts like a creepy, juvenile, inappropriate pervert at cons, then accuses anyone who complains of fursecution.
PUNISHMENT: We need some kind of Concruddian-detector, so they can be intercepted at the door and tossed into a locked room with others of their ilk. All they get to eat is tuna casserole piped through a hose. There's a single, ratty old camel fursuit for anyone who wants it. No toilet and no place to dispose of used adult diapers. And the whole thing is covered by major news networks so the public can see that even furries draw the line somewhere.
The Glitterbomb
CRIME: Is perky and colorful and supergay to the point of madness.
PUNISHMENT: While attending an anime con, gets hit with a literal glitterbomb, leaving them blind and mute. Plus, the glitter is permanently embedded in their flesh, causing Twilight fangirls to follow them around, caressing them with pudgy, purple-nailed fingers.
The Gollum
CRIME: Spends each and every moment of their wretched life trying to get free art.
PUNISHMENT: Wins an art raffle and is asked for their address and personal info. If they're retarded enough to give it, their identity is promptly stolen by a 300-pound Sri Lankan who runs a baby-smuggling operation from their apartment while they take the blame.
The Furnatic
CRIME: Actually believes they are an anthropomorphic animal trapped in a human's body.
PUNISHMENT: Mobsters mistake him for a goon nicknamed "Real Dragon," kidnap him, torture him, and then toss him off a cliff while guffawing, "Where's your WINGS, boy? Why ain't you FLYING?" He lives, but the mobsters return every Friday to use him as a urinal.
The DASY
CRIME: Attracts a devoted following by posting really awesome art, then abruptly deletes everything and vanishes due to his "changing vision" or some bullshit.
PUNISHMENT: Locked in a house with a whole bunch of his most annoying fans, who refuse to let him eat unless he draws custom porn for them all day.
The Guilty As Fuck-er
CRIME: Constantly acts emo and self-loathing, ashamed that other people like him, refusing to admit he has worth.
PUNISHMENT: The Furfag Police run a special camp for these people, during which time they learn applicable skills and are beaten with frozen pork chops every time they claim they're worthless. At the end, they emerge as happy, normal people -- except for the truly hopeless cases, who are ground up and made into hedgehog chow.
The Fuwwy Twoo Wuv
CRIME: Moons and gushes endlessly over their wonderful, perfect mate, aka, some dude they've never met in person.
PUNISHMENT: When they finally meet their mate IRL, he/she turns out to be incredibly sexy, talented, charming, and wealthy. Then the mate takes one look at the FTW, says, "Well, never mind," and walks out of their life.
The Navi
CRIME: Clutters up your IM with boring babble about shit only they care about, and gets offended if you don't give them your full attention.
PUNISHMENT: In a grotesque surgical mishap, the Navi's hands are replaced with an aluminum bucket and a barracuda skeleton. If they can still babble on IM after that, they fucking deserve an audience.
The Sex Sandwich On Rye
CRIME: Tries to force everyone to be friends -- even if they hate each other -- because he only cares about his self-centered sex fantasies.
PUNISHMENT: People keep doing really awful things to him by accident -- like, running over his dog or sending a pornographic text conversation to his boss -- and then trying to seduce and have sex with him literally moments afterward.
The Gaymaleredfox
CRIME: Is boring and generic with no visible personality or imagination.
PUNISHMENT: The Furfag Police set a legal limit on the number of red foxes in the fandom, based on seniority. All other red foxes must choose a new fursona from a list of the five hundred least common species in the fandom, then give their character a fascinating appearance and backstory. Otherwise, they get sent to a prison in the Australian outback where the inmates have to wear a full fursuit 24/7.
TEN FINAL (lol) TYPES OF FURRY WE HATE
The Autotargeting Anti-Admin Incendiary (AAAI)
CRIME: Hates the FA admins with an irrational passion and constantly drags out the same tired and unfixable complaints.
PUNISHMENT: Has to be an FA admin, duh. But with a bonus twist: all of the AAAI's decisions as admin are really fucking good and improve the site, but he gets no credit at all. Instead, everyone believes he fucks baby lambs in his spare time.
The Tolkien
CRIME: Has a long, stupid, unoriginal backstory for their stupid fursona that they insist on inflicting upon every sap they come across. Usually involving magic and cyborgs and gunblades and shit.
PUNISHMENT: Gets sent to an actual fantasy realm, only it has all the things a fantasy realm would have, such as rampant disease and murderous bigotry. And the Tolkien doesn't get to inhabit the place as their own fursona; instead, they are in the body of a naked mole rat whose ass emits a pheromone irresistible to the Spine-Cocked Thunder Centipedes of Mount Pustule.
The Fetish Snob
CRIME: Acts all arrogant about being "associated" with a particular fetish.
PUNISHMENT: Every time they try to apply for a real job, a sexually explicit description of the fetish and their association with it appears on their resumé. By fucking magic.
The Tortured Genius
CRIME: Is an incredibly good artist, yet constantly whines about how much their art sucks.
PUNISHMENT: Put to work in the Disney gulag coloring frames for "Tinkerbell XXXVII: She Goes To Cleveland Or Something" while being flogged by all the fattest, ugliest Disney villains, all of whom are naked.
The Apostle
CRIME: Worships a particular artist and kisses their ass so hard he leaves permanent lip prints.
PUNISHMENT: Fitted with special contact lenses which ensure that whenever he views a piece of art by his beloved hero, it appears as a painting of a brick. And not even a sexy brick.
The Disapproving Little Shit
CRIME: Your typical smug troll who loves to stir up endless drama by being vile and hateful on forums and such.
PUNISHMENT: Special drones (outfitted with cute wolf ears) are dispatched to hunt down the trolls and shoot them with live wasps until they deliver a heartfelt apology. And then one in every ten is executed anyway, because the Romans knew their shit.
The Furitan
CRIME: Complains about any furry porn that does not meet the exact, rigid guidelines for what they personally find sexy.
PUNISHMENT: Dog dick. In the ear.
The FAcebooker
CRIME: Treats FA like Facebook, posting boring photos and Tweet-like journals.
PUNISHMENT: For every pointless thing they post, they must perform oral sex on another member of FA, who is chosen via random lottery. Only the lottery is rigged to favor fat chicks who don't wash their labia.
The Spineless Cumbucket
CRIME: Is trapped in an abusive relationship with a creep, but won't admit it because they're a total coward and too needy to function.
PUNISHMENT: Jesus, just BEING them is punishment enough.
The Lifer
CRIME: A salty dog who has blown their entire life being furry, and only being furry. Also, continues to insist that FurNation is still relevant.
PUNISHMENT: Using their mystic time powers, the Furfag Police send the Lifer back in time and have them relive the past twenty to thirty years -- this time, as a successful and respected public servant who just happens to be furry on the side. The Lifer is then asked which version of their life they prefer. If they choose the furry-only version, they are put in a cage and displayed at every furry con, as both a novelty and a cautionary example.
This list was made by www.furaffinity.net/user/felix…
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False alarm
1 min read
Never mind on the Skype bit I got the old computer returned and exchanged so it's all good.
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No Skype
1 min read
I'm not getting back on Skype because my laptop crashed, and I was already logged in on it, plus I forgot my password for it.
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Grandpa's death
1 min read
Like my title said yep my Grandpa died 7 days ago, it really sucked but me and my family still had a good Christmas.
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